Alton Brown is God

[anarky]

Discuss.

[Ran]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alton_brown (for those of us who don't know him off hand.)

I've seen his show a couple times while my wife was on her Food network kick. I don't know if he is God, but he certainly is a fruit loop. It isn't in the wikipedia entry, but wasn't he Bizarro The Grin for a short time?

[anarky]

At least Bizarro the Grin claimed to be him after he was picked up by the dogcatcher.

[Zero]

Meh, as long as there isn't too much salt in my burger, I could care less. I'm not into the whole culinary scene.

[vynsane]

the missus is into "feasting on asphalt" but i'm more into his other show about the science behind cooking and taste. i liked how he had a big tongue when he was demonstrating how capsaicin has no designated receptor and is like a burglar who can pick the locks of any of your taste buds, thus resulting in the hot sensation. coolness.

[anarky]

Yeah, Good Eats is the show I was mainly referring to. It's awesome, because it's like Bill Nye, only for adults, and actually entertaining. Any idiot can walk you through a recipe, but this show teaches you all the hows and whys so you can do it yourself.

[Snigtad Flornbi]

I was waching tV one tiem + my uncle rodger came in + terned it off + whiped out his dong + sayed, ha ha this is good eats! good thing my dad caem in and bich slaped him, i hate when uncle rodger maeks me suck him, he is a gay

[anarky]

Fuck you Sniggins.

I hope my wife gives me this for Christmas. Well, that and a blowjob.

[anarky]

Biggest clusterfuck in history:

So the Food Network store was offering this blowout deal until yesterday, 30% off all purchases. Awesome! I was going to order me some Alton DVDs. The full set is normally $150, but would be $105.

But when I entered the code (which was still on the main page), it seemed to "take," but the discount didn't apply. I tried it a few times, and no go.

So I called the customer service number. They say that I need to call "another" number and give me that number. (Weird, but, hey, I'm saving like $45.) I call that, and a girl tells me to place the order, then call them in about an hour or so and they'll adjust it.

I'm not too keen on this, but I do it anyway. An hour later, the order hasn't gone through. The dude I talk to says an hour is a "best case" scenario, and to call back in a few hours.

Four hours later, I call and get the same guy as before. The order still isn't there. He puts me on hold to talk to a supervisor. When he comes back, I get the full story: They're changing the third-party contractor who deals with orders. (The phone number had apparently been updated to the new company's number, which explains the whole "Call the other number" deal.) Since the order still hasn't come through, it looks like Food Network is routing all orders to the new company. He tells me to call back tomorrow (ie, today) and their system should be live, and they "should be" able to apply the discount.

So this morning, I still don't have an e-mail confirmation. I go to their site, and the layout is different... and the DVDs have gone up to $250. Now, $150 for 27 DVDs was a bit much, but $105 is good. No way is $250 going to work. Oh, and the shipping rate has changed from price-based to weight-based. Meaning it'd be a helluva lot more, too.

So I call them. Guess what? I give the lady the confirmation number, and apparently it's in the wrong format! I guess they send a different number when they send the e-mail confirmation, which I don't have. Not sure how I was supposed to know that. She puts me on hold to speak to a supervisor.

The orders placed yesterday have not been ported to their systems! They're not sure when they will be. I have to call back in two or three days to fix this stupid problem! I told her it concerned me a little that I'd have to wait at least three days from the order date to ask for a promotion that ended the day I ordered it, and wanted to make sure it wouldn't be any problem. ('Cause if it is a problem, I'm prepared to fight for it.) She said the only possible problem would be due to it being a promotion run by the other company, but it should be okay.

Luckily, I got a screen grab of the main page yesterday, clearly showing the promo code.

I should stress that everyone's been friendly and tried to help, but no one has the full story of what the hell's going on.

[Ran]

I've seen bigger clusters, but then again, I worked for the government. At least it sounds as if the customer service people you talked to are in the US. Twice in the past 4 months, I've called customer service lines which were out-sourced to India.

[anarky]

Y'know, I've actually gotten some excellent service from people who are clearly in India. I don't mind talking to someone outside the country, so long as they're understandable, don't pretend they live in the US, have the power to actually serve customers, and know what customer service is. Unfortunately, I've only experienced this with one of the many companies I've called who have obviously outsourced their call centers.

[Ran]

I had a reply all typed out, but I hit something and lost it. Anyway, yes, it depends on the operator. Must be a dang good DVD set if you're going through all that trouble to get it.

[anarky]

27 discs of goodness, at about $50 off. Yeah, I was willing to make some calls. Back on Sunday, that is.

Right now, though, I'm just a little pissed. ("A little" as in "Hitler was a little mean.")

I've been getting the runaround, with the new company telling me they were contacting the old company to verify the discount, and it would be no problem. Only thing is, well, I ordered a book, too, because the 30% off put it way cheaper than anyone else, and it wouldn't have kicked the total price into the next shipping category.

Only thing is, with the total price unadjusted, it did kick into the next category.

And, despite all the bullshit, and assurances yesterday that I will get an e-mail message confirming that it's discounted, I get a fucking shipping confirmation for the book today! At full price!

So I call 'em up, and I'm told that's just what's in the e-mail, everything is taken care of, yadda yadda, when my credit card statement comes, it will reflect the true price. Only, uh, the temporary authorization on my card is in the full amount!

Christ in a bucket, it's not worth this much trouble. Only thing is, now that the fuckers shipped half the order, and shipping is nonrefundable (and who knows what hoops one would have to jump through for that?), I have to keep pursuing it.

Next step, polite but firm (and clearly annoyed) letter. Hopefully these guys have enough concept of customer service to keep it from going further.

[Ran]

I've been getting the runaround,...

And not the Blues Travler kind of Runaround either, I bet. The chick that was dressed up as Dorothy in that video was kind of hot.

Maybe Bizarro The Grin is running the show over there. He has been around here much lately and has been know to stick it in your rear.

[Antropov]

I love Alton Brown and "Good Eats" and was excited to go see him at the Midland Center for the Arts in Midland, MI last year where he was giving a demonstration and presentation. Then I found out tickets to watch some dude cook on a stage 40 feet away were $50.

F that.