Just had a harrowing experience

anything that don't fit under any other category...like your mothers fat ass

Moderators: Zero, John Madden, Bob Ross, General Zod, Richard Simmons, Batman

Post Reply
User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 18054
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Just had a harrowing experience

Post by anarky »

So, I'm here and have to feed Anarky Jr some lunch. I open a can of (organic) chicken tortilla soup, and split it in two. I try to give her as little of the liquid as possible.

What happened next, well, she had no idea what was happening and apparently thought I was sneezing repeatedly because she kept saying, "Bless you. Bless you."

I take a bite, and I cough or hiccup or something--I'm not even quite sure--and this huge chunk of chicken goes down my throat before I can chew it. It's not in the airway. I'm able to breathe fine. I've had food stuck in my throat before (I just read it can be caused by acid reflux, which I used to have a serious problem with and is probably the culprit), but normally it either goes down or comes back up within a few seconds.

It doesn't. First, I vomit up the beans and rice that are on top of the chicken. Then I find myself puking up spit and mucus every minute or so--it seems the spit you naturally swallow without realizing it just isn't getting past the chicken, and it's building up and then forcing its way out.

I try drinking cold water. No luck. Then I try milk, hoping it will lubricate it. Same thing. Whatever I drink comes back up almost immediately, but not the chicken causing the problem. I try beer, hoping maybe some of the liquid will get down and make me belch. A little does, and I burp several times, but no luck. Then Tabasco--maybe the vinegar can dissolve it a little, and I should at least be able to feel from the capsaicin how far down the chicken is. It burns like hell coming back up. (I like hot sauce, but normally don't drink tablespoons of it at a time.)

Hot water doesn't work, nor does forcing myself to swallow large amounts of liquid. Nothing is working. I go online to search. Almost everything says that if it doesn't come up on its own, surgery may be required as this can be really, really dangerous--apparently, you can suffocate if the spit builds up and goes into the trachea, particularly after you fall asleep. I'm about to shit myself. I have a real phobia of hospitals, and the idea that they might have to cut open my throat to get a piece of chicken scares the hell out of me.

Anarky Jr finishes her food. I clean her off and put her in her room so she can't get into anything. I try giving myself the heimlich as best I can. Nothing is working.

Finally, after about forty minutes, I lean my head backwards and am rotating my head around to try to alleviate the discomfort. I can actually feel the chicken dislodge and finish going down (it was roughly behind my collarbone). I tried drinking, and everything goes down and stays down; my throat just hurts like hell (though I'm not sure if that's more from gagging for that long or abrasions caused by the chicken).

Man, that is some scary shit. I dunno what's worse, knowing how dangerous (if seemingly minor) a situation that was, or knowing that, if I were to die, it would've been because of a damned piece of chicken about the size of my fingernail.
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
User avatar
Seven
knightrider
Posts: 358
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:57 pm

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by Seven »

WHOA! Seriously, glad you are alright! Reading that scared that shit out of me, don't know what I would have done if that was me!!

Again, glad you are alright!
The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an Amusement Park.
User avatar
mabudon
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2771
Joined: Sat Sep 28, 2002 5:23 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by mabudon »

damn dude, I hate when that happens, real glad yer okay, being asphyxiated is NOT fun
Vince, NO!!!!!

I just ripped off most of your pubes!!
Senor JabbaJohnL
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2785
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:17 pm

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by Senor JabbaJohnL »

Yeah, not to one-up you or anything, but that's happened to me quite a lot. It's freaky for a while, and sometimes I throw it up, but you just have to get out what you can and then wait it out.

But I've never acted like a little bitch about it. :lol:
Shit. I can't think of a good signature.
User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 18054
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by anarky »

You've had shit stuck in your throat for 45 minutes or more? And it wasn't just your penis?

Based on what I read earlier, you really might want to see a doctor about that.
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
User avatar
Ran
(includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
Posts: 9083
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
Location: barking up the wrong tree

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by Ran »

So would a choking the chicken joke be out of like?
User avatar
vynsane
master of the universe
Posts: 6306
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 11:16 pm
Location: in my quiet place, punch-dancing out my rage
Contact:

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by vynsane »

VHAT A COUNTRY! een russia, chicken chokes YOU!

sorry. had to.

glad to hear you got it down. i don't know how i would've reacted if i were you.
Life is short. STUNT IT!
User avatar
kidhuman
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 3769
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2003 6:04 pm
Location: USA

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by kidhuman »

that sucks, the best way to get rid of it is to have your spouse fart on your lips. The gas dissolves it.












Seriously, good to hear you are ok.
Image
User avatar
RoIIo Tomassi
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2536
Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2007 6:09 am
Location: Hollywood

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by RoIIo Tomassi »

Have all these years of kidhuman telling you to relax your throat muscles taught you nothing?

RRRRRRRRRRRIMSHOT


But seriously, that sounds like some scary shit. Glad it ended up being okay. Did you tell Mrs. Anarky? I would actually debate whether to tell the woman after the fact because they would freak out after the situation had resolved itself. But then they would probably freak out even more if you never told them at all and they found out later. I don't understand women...
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!"
User avatar
Double_G
megatron
Posts: 1463
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:28 pm
Location: Whore Island

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by Double_G »

Glad to hear you didn't need that surgery. The same thing happened to me when I was younger with a Fruit Loop. I was able to breathe fine but it was just stuck in there. After enough coughing, I was able to spit it up. Still, it's scary.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
Senor JabbaJohnL
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2785
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2006 12:17 pm

Re: Just had a harrowing experience

Post by Senor JabbaJohnL »

anarky wrote:You've had shit stuck in your throat for 45 minutes or more? And it wasn't just your penis?

Based on what I read earlier, you really might want to see a doctor about that.
It's almost always with chicken, or sometimes bread, and it's only when I eat too fast and don't chew well, so I'm not concerned about it. It doesn't happen too often but it has happened several times.
Shit. I can't think of a good signature.
Post Reply