the vynsane asylum

It said, "HEYO!!"

so i was on the commuter train this morning, and who gets on and sits beside me but snigtad flornbi. i scoot over to give him room, because i'm eating a bowl of delicious krave cereal, and he's carrying a big bag. as he sits down, i see it's full of dicks. i ask him why he has a bag of dicks, and he says he's on the way to see rollo tomassi, so he can prove he's not gayer than a bag of dicks. whatever floats your boat, i guess. not sure how he got so many dicks in the bag, but, eh, whatever, as long as my dick isn't in there.

the train hits a bump, and we get knocked together.

"you got your dicks in my cereal!"

"you got your cereal in my dicks!"

instantly realizing this was the sort of thing that invented the reese's peanut butter cup, i suggested we dig in.

i don't recommend it. cereal with dicks in it tastes like, well, cereal with dicks in it.

and i'm pretty sure one of those dicks was al sharpton's. fat-ass motherfucker.

Shit. Somebody kept knocking on my door today asking me if I wanted to see a giant collection of dicks. I assumed they were talking about the RNC and didn't answer the door. I guess it was Robin.


I still wouldn't have answered the door.