the vynsane asylum

Christfarts... I only came up with seven last night, but I must've forgotten "The Big Lame Shitfest of 2006."

Or you were counting the UK filler issues as one story instead of two.

That Episode Adaptation filler issue pissed me right the fuck off. Because issue 41 of Transformers is what I consider my fīst official book of when I started 'collecting' comics on a monthly basis. Before that, whatever comics I had were just stuff my parents had bought while we were on long car rides or I was home sick or whatever. But 41 was the first issue where I said, "Holy crap! I have to come back next month!" and I got 42, which had Optimus Prime's return! a couple weeks later(because I hadn't bought 41 the day it came out. I was in B.Dalton at the mall and the cover jumped out at me and I asked my mom for 75 cents). But then there was the interminably long wait for a full month between 42 and 43. And I wasn't buying a dozen books a week like I am now to distract me(in fact, I started buying books like Punisher, X-Men, Spider-Man, etc because I was suffocating waiting a whole month between issues of TF and GIJoe). So a whole month finally went by and...what the fuck is this happy horseshit?!? Wreck-Gar?!? Rodimus?! You went from Powermaster Prime on his way back to Earth after two years...to this shit?!?

Damn, I was livid. And then of course, the following few issues were slightly less crap. The PretenderCon in the movies? The biker guys fighting Sparkabots? It wasn't until 47 and the Underbase Saga started that it got decent again(as decent as it could get with Budainsky anyway).

I read a lot of issues in the stores. My first that I consider "official" was #56. I'd picked up a few scattered issues here and there, but was hardly a regular buyer. I thumbed #57 it in one mall bookstore, then noticed they had #56 in the one downstairs. Even though the art was shit (hello, Delbo!), I was impressed by the writing, far more than I'd been by anything since around 17-18. I picked them up, and went to a comic shop to get some back issues that weekend (they advertised a "half off all back issues under $10 sale") and was floored to find they had #58. (Obviously, I didn't know that bookstores got their books after comic shops, and sometimes let them sit a while.) Three great issues in a row (again, disregarding the art) was enough to get me hooked for good. I didn't pay attention enough to know it was a different writer, or I'd just happened to come in on his first issue.

The first "regular" Joe comic I got was shortly afterwards, #93. Similar dealio. I knew the overall story from skimming issues, but saw on the cover that it was going to reveal SE's face and had to get it without even thumbing through. I nearly shat my pants when I thought Baroness killed Scarlett.

I had to look in my little 6x4 notebooks that I used to write down all my comics in, how much I paid, etc. I also marked which issue of each series was my first. And I also kept track of 'milestones' like when I spent $1000, or had 1000 books total. Or when I had 100 issues of a certain title like Cap or Batman. I kept track from 1988 until 1994. After that I had over 9000 comics and stopped keeping track.

I did an image search for "Megatron vs Galvatron," hoping to find the panel with the "I don't know you, stranger" quote.

Instead, I got some weirdo's Rule 34 image of Megatron and Galvatron lubricating one another's spark chambers.

God damn you, internet.

I did a google image search for 'amazing pig terd journey' earlier and was disappointed with the results to say the least.

I did that once and found an entire blog about a guy putting pig shit on airplanes and taking pictures.

Okay, that was made up.

You ever get Autocracy, Rollo?

Nopers. not yet.

Damn, man, I want to discuss that with someone who is familiar with TF but isn't one of those raging fanboy psychos who frequent TF discussion boards and think you're not a fan if you can't recite the entire Super-God Masterforce series in the original Japanese.

#83 comments. Spoiler tags follow in case you're blind.

Nice to see they snuck Circuit Breaker in there, even if they essentially confirmed she's dead. A bit of a shocker seeing Blackrock has aged. It makes sense, seeing as how he was a billionaire Stark surrogate in 1985, but comic characters aging in real time is so rarely seen. Loved his rather badass introduction, simply asking pointblank where Optimus Prime was. Even as an old man in a wheelchair with apparent respiratory problems, that's just badass.

Hot Rod is so being set up to become Rodimus Prime it's not funny. (Well, assuming it's not a red herring and he gets killed off.) Not sure how that would work; the Matrix was destroyed when Optimus used it to kill Unicron.

I wouldn't mind an annual at some point, flashing back to the carnage on Earth. Though it might be hard, as it would actually require the use of Circuit Breaker.

Now's the doozy. I don't think that's really Megatron. Well, it is, but only physically.

Megatron is far more intellectual a threat than he's been in the past. He's never been a moron, and been shown to be pretty damned hot at science, but instantly taking over the combined nuclear launch codes and blowing up Earth in a matter of hours? Not his style. He also wants to lord over his minions; an army of unfeeling zombies, although efficient, would bore him. (The guy did revel so much in the irony of using Starscream as a pawn once that he essentially fucked up his own plan.) No, there are two really powerful purple guys who were also presumed dead on Earth and haven't been seen. One or both is the mastermind. I'm leaning toward Shockwave. He would think it's logical to have brainless, indestructible drone soldiers, he'd have the knowledge to bring them back, and he'd have the ability to do the shit with launch codes. The army of the dead is Galvatron's style. And, being from a ruined alternate universe, he might know a good deal about human technology. They could be working together; Galvatron might've realized in #79 that his life wasn't tied to the well-being of this Megatron. Ratchet is comatose. Megatron's mind is still connected to his. If Ratchet isn't conscious, Megatron might not be, either. I'm guessing Shockwave (and/or Galvatron) are basically controlling Megatron like a puppet. His gloating last issue could easily be just a smokescreen--Starscream could even be the state he described in case, somehow, someone figured out how to un-zombify the undead. Starscream looks undead. But, if this happened, Starscream could only tell whoever it was what a dick Megatron is, not that he's being controlled.

Then again, the Nucleon could've healed Megatron's insanity to the point he'd work with Galvatron and Shockwave. Galvatron could still believe that he's tied to Megatron, and Shockwave's proven time and again he only wants to lead because he thinks he's a more logical leader than the insane Megatron.

The humans unearthing the Ark appears to be fully Spike's guesswork. Galvatron was last seen under the Arctic ice. That couldn't have kept a Unicronian Decepticon out of commission for long. Galvatron went back and reactivated whoever it was. Again, the army of the dead is far more his style.

Fortresss Maximus is not dead. The Nebulan subplot essentially confirmed that he'll be revived on Nebulos. Headmasters killed fighting Unicron are being revived. The only three Decepticon headmasters I can think of off-hand who were confirmed killed were Scorponok, Apeface, and Mindwipe. We see someone who looks like Scorponok. The mindwiped Nebulans seem like the handiwork of, well, Mindwipe.

Then we've got Bludgeon (in his G2 Warworld--nice touch!), Soundwave, and Scorponok all launching their plans at the same time this mess is happening on Earth with Megatron, and Thunderwing about to be revived. This is coordinated. This is fucking huge. There is someone pulling the strings, and I'm thinking, if it's not Shockwave or Galvatron, it must be the work of someone whose name rhymes with Siege Traximo.

Or, duh, Jhiaxus--he even showed up for reasons unknown in #80.5.

I got cover A. It also was the last copy left on the shelf. I saw three other copies set aside, two of cover B, and another cover A. I don't care terribly either way, but I wish they'd drop it down to one cover choice. It looks like the GIJoe books have done that. It's just one cover and a Retail Incentive cover.

So, who was the disassembled 'con at the end of the book?

Thunderwing. What's left of him after Unicron shredded him. Remember Bludgeon had some sort of Thunderwing "mold" in #81 (82?).

Y'know what I find funny?

People on TF fansites are nitpicking why the Autobots had Decepticon casualties in storage on the Ark, and why they didn't get reactivated by Nucleon (only Megatron was shown to be revived).

It's so fucking obvious, it makes me want to register just to scream at them.

Scorponok did not give two shits about casualties. Particularly those who didn't go with him to Nebulos (in other words, most, if not all, of the Decepticon casualties). He left the bodies to rot. (He may have taken Soundwave to repair, who, perhaps, got lucky or something... we know he was back without explanation not long afterward.)

Optimus Prime, on the other hand, does not want Cybertronian technology in the hands of humans. (Scorponok, again, didn't give a shit--he fucking gave four random bounty hunters some pretty powerful anti-Transformer tech.) It may not be canon anymore, but Hotspot fucking self-destructed himself into atoms because Prime had ordered them to not let Cybertronian tech fall into human hands at any cost. He's not leaving a bunch of Decepticon bodies laying around, particularly in the middle of major cities.

So the 'Cons are on the Ark. Then we've got one of two possibilities. First (and the one I subscribe to): the dead Decepticons were, indeed, dead. Maybe they could've been saved. Wouldn't have been a priority. They were probably stacked in a fucking broom closet. Megatron, on the other hand, was in full stasis. Why? In addition to him being the leader and founder of the Decepticons, and thus really quite important, he was linked to Ratchet. Kill Megatron, kill Ratchet. Yeah, Megatron is on life support.

The other possibility: The Decepticons (again, except for Megatron) were in a separate sick bay. Grimlock (along with Jazz and Bumblebee) were revived long before the other Underbase casualties. Grimlock knew where the Dinobots were; he probably knew there was a separate sick bay populated only by Decepticons. The whole Ratchet/Megatron thing happened when he was offworld, on Garrus IV. He came back, found the Ark, went to Cybertron, and ordered the Dinobots to give Nucleon to everyone in sick bay. Without reading the name tags, he had no way to know Megatron was there. He thought Megatron and Ratchet died in the explosion of Megatron's castle, same as everyone else (until Nightbeat brought them back from unspace). But he wouldn't have revived the Decepticons. Nope, nope, nope. Prime is the bleeding heart; Grimlock is absolutely not.