the vynsane asylum

Posted: **Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:55 pm**

Today's QOTD comes from American hero Jeremy Roenick, who announced his retirement from the NHL by text messaging a reporter saying:

"I'm retiring; is that still news?"

Full story

Posted: **Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:00 pm**

I've come across a few comments on these here intrawebs today that I feel are QOTD worthy. The first comes from an article on WWTDD.com regarding Nick Lachey trying to keep uncensored pictures of him and Vanessa Minillo fucking on a balcony from reaching the public:

His fans won't be mad because his fans are too busy knitting scarves for their cats or buying ice cream or crawling around on their retarded mutant flippers, or whatever it is shut-ins and weirdos do.

The second comes from the best baseball blog in the world, firejoemorgan.com, and sings the praises of Albert Pujols. It's a tad long for QOTD, but it was impossible to pick out a "best" part (though I bolded my favorite):

Albert Pujols is either the best hitter in baseball or he's damn close. He has 266 career HR and he's played in a total of like 65 baseball games. He has a .418 career OBP. He is 12 feet tall, and each of his lats weighs 80 pounds. His bat is 60 inches long and is made of Bigfoot's spine. He is a monstrous monster who eats sliders. Not balls that were used to throw sliders, mind you -- he has figured out a way to eat the concept of sliders. The dude hits with a closed stance only because Marty Barrett bet him he couldn't hit with a closed stance like Barrett did and still win the MVP and Pujols did it just to stave off the boredom that had come from solving baseball. He once hit a home run on a hit-by-pitch. He has more hits left-handed than anyone in baseball history has right-handed -- and he is right handed. He completed an MD-PhD at Hopkins in one hour and gave a graduation address (in Greek), and he had to miss a game against the Pirates in 2003, and he still went 2-4 with a double. The home run he hit off Lidge in the NLCS....just now landed, in Banff. He is awesome.

Posted: **Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:03 pm**

that guy sounds like bill brasky. or chuck norris. or kris kristofferson.

Posted: **Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:24 pm**

Is that the same Albert Pujols that's on my fantasy team that didn't produce much in the begining of the year?

firejoemorgan.com? Nice. (Yes, I still refuse to watch MLB).

Posted: **Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:35 pm**

Rogue II wrote:Is that the same Albert Pujols that's on my fantasy team that didn't produce much in the begining of the year?

The same. I don't see what makes him such a great hitter this season, but if FJM says it's true it must be.

firejoemorgan.com? Nice.

The best part about the site is when they pick apart the weekly "JoeChat" session on ESPN.com. It's a riot when Joe has a "good" week. I recommend you look it up on that site and read.

Posted: **Thu Jul 12, 2007 2:55 pm**

It's been a long time since I watched baseball. Is he the announcer that refuses to say anything bad about anything or anyone no matter how big of a butt-munch they may be? Basically, making him Positive Boy?

Posted: **Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:29 pm**

I believe so. I've never heard that said about him, per se, but since he's an unadulterated idiot, I'm sure it's the same dude. He's also the person who responds to roughly 50% of the chat questions, "I don't know. I haven't seen enough of him/them this season". Uh, dude? Isn't that kind of, I don't know, your fucking job?!

Posted: **Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:40 pm**

God Cap, that sig pic is fucking hilarious!!!!!

Posted: **Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:44 pm**

it's one of "t-shirt hell"'s newest shirts. that site is fuckin' awesome.

Posted: **Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:55 pm**

Thanks, jj. It is indeed one of Tshirt Hell's newest. My profile image on the other site is stolen from Tshirt Hell as well.

Posted: **Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:54 pm**

QOTD? QOForever is more like it.....

Senor JabbaJohnL wrote:

I can't do it all the way, and haven't done it for a while, but let me say - that fucking taste stays in there for a while, so I advise you not to try it. It's just not worth it.

And no it doesn't make me gay.

Jesus.

Posted: **Sat Jul 14, 2007 12:31 pm**

And nothing can ever top it.

THREAD CLOSED!

Or not.

Posted: **Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:31 pm**

You know, that's not a bad idea, I seriously am having a hard time functioning after readin that post- it was like 9/11 on vynsane, the day EVERYTHING changed

Posted: **Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:06 pm**

Today's second quote of the day is what Caesar wrote on the other site about Batman Forever.

At least by having Robin be 30, it cut down on the NAMBLA effect of the Adam West version.

Posted: **Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:20 pm**

National Association of... Marlon Brando Look-Alikes? I'm afraid I just don't... get it.

Hmm.... An unfunny joke.... Double-G, did you perchance... fall into a vat of chemicals at the Gotham Chemical Plant?

the vynsane asylum

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