the vynsane asylum

H.A.S.B.R.O. How About Stuffing Boxes Really Often....erm what were we talking abou....ah yes! The answer is NO. The rising cost of oil has offered us a legitimate excuse to post ridiculously high profits this quarter and get obnoxious bonus checks. It's in our contracts. Now be a good little chimp and go buy some more clonetroopers. Poppa needs a new Benz, bitch.


What do you guys think of the whole Mattel/MGA ruling concerning Bratz and Barbie? You guys are weak in the girl toys dept...

We have other toys for girls to play with. It makes us very happy when they yank on these toys and put them in their mouths. What, I'm talking about Littlest Pet Shop, you pervert!

(Littlest Pet Shop in my pants, that is. Womp womp womp!)

Why is it you can make something as fucking awesome and unique as Kota the Triceratops, but you seem to be stuck in "keep releasing the Clonetrooper in blue" and "Snake Eyes with a different color pair of pants? AWESOME!" modes?

Because there are stupid people that keep buying blue Clonetroopers and Snake-Eyes with pants variation.

Are there any GI Joes from the 80s that won't be appearing in the current line?

Battleforce 2000. Why? Because it's 2009.


When you guys do a new Transformers toyline every other year, you start out with the same half dozen characters, Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, Prowl, Ratchet, etc. And then before you can get to the rest of the original G1 characters like Trailbreaker, Huffer, Gears etc, you start over with yet another new line. Will you EVER give these guys some love?

We might get to it after the new line after the next movie.

Any chance that you'll re-release the G1 Soundwave? The exclusive one was kind of hard to find.

For what you would pay for that rerelease on the secondary market, you could pick up This Instead. We know it ain't Hasbro merch, but it's fuckin' sweet.


I've got an idea for a new toyline. It's called AUTODRONES. It's like Go-Bots meets Speed Racer meets Wrestling(but with less gay). It will be awesome!!! Want to buy it?

We will buy it if you can get Vince Offer to market it for us.

Do you think the Indiana Jones line would have done better if you got Vince Offer to do commercials for it?

You want more Vaders? Ok, we'll stop making him. You can expect news on the Marvel line at Comic Con. Stay tuned! Yes, please look down and say it.

It has come to my attention that you now make Star Wars marbles. I don't think marbles have been popular since the Little Rascals were first hitting the silver screen, so why did even bother? Secondly, $4 for a single marble? If you can't sell Titaniums, what makes you think anyone will buy a marble?

because there's always at least one old guy who plays with MARBS (tm) and also is fond of fat slug gangsters.

Hey hasbro,
why dont you make a 3 3/4 inch obama figure? wouldnt that get you, like, $5000000000000000000000000000 dollars?

We only make figures of Americans, not undercover Muslim communist reincarnations of Hitler, you fucking liberal Jew Nazi bastard!

Hasbro, why is it that you've had a really tough time of getting Harrison Ford's headsculpt right for Han Solo figures, but the GIJoe team (who made a Baroness figure that looks more like Phillip Seymour Hoffman than Sienna Miller) totally nailed his likeness for an Aqua-Viper figure? Why don't you "borrow" that head for Star Wars?

It's part of our new strategy to cross-over Star Wars and GI Joe collectors. Be sure to look for the new Padmé figure, sculpted to look like Dennis Quaid!

Could you just make Captain Fordo and the ARC Pilots already to shut everyone up?

Captain Frodo? We don't make Lord of the Rings figures.

Why are you putting a build-a-droid from Jabba's palace in an EU wave and some EU droid in the OT wave?

Remember the words of Yogurt: marketing. You idiots will complain and bitch, but it'll make you buy all twelve figures, even if you only want one, because who can pass on that BG droid you've all been begging for?

Hasbro, why do you make details no one asked for and which often detract from figures who don't need them? I'm talking about Dannik Jerriko's massive tentacle bullshit things that deface his cheeks with two massive holes, or that fucktarded Predator-looking head under the removable helmet no one wanted on Rum "In the movie for two frames" Sleg. Yet when people ask for accessories, like K'kruhk's hat and all sorts of other shit I can't think of right now, you don't bother and then claim it would cost too much (though obviously cost was no factor on the other, stupid crap). Really, Hasbro, what the fuck is up with that?

We do our best to defy logic.

Can you quit with the half-fabric/half-plastic outfits like on that last Jawa? It just doesn't look right.