the vynsane asylum

I'd just finished getting my morning spongebath from Eva Longoria, and I was a little bored, so I decided to catch up on what my fans were up to. I found this place rather quickly, and I must say that I am impressed. You have an eye for web design, and your devotion to both myself and to sloths is enough to bring a tear to my eye.

I must offer a friendly reminder, though, that the name "David Hasselhoff" is a registered trademark of HasselCorp: The Sexiest Real Estate Brokers Around(TM), and ask that you cease and desist in the use of my name. Instead, feel free to use phrases such as "The Hot Tamale from Baywatch" or "The Dude that KITT took Orders From." You may also call me "The Hoff." My lawyers would be mad at me if I did not mention this little fact.

And, since I'm here on your site, I have to once again remind you, vynsane, that, no matter how many letters and risque photos you send of yourself, I simply am not into the entire "gay" thing. No one other than the late Edward Mulhare has been able to tempt me to plow those forbidden fields.

Hoff out!

Hey Hoff...You + The L.A. Production of the Producer's = GAY.

But, by that logic, Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane, George Costanza, Larry David, David Schwimmer, and Gene Wilder were all gay.

Okay, Nathan is pretty flaming. Forget I mentioned him.

And Broderick and Wilder? Both married, but to two of the homeliest actresses in Hollywood. They're in question, too. Forget them.

And Larry and David were only pretending to be in The Producers on Curb Your Enthusiasm. I guess they don't really count.

Maybe Hoff is gay. I mean, have you seen Baywatch?

But, god damn it, George Costanza is not gay!!!

I don't mean to say the Producer's is gay. Or being in the Producer's is gay. but I've seen the billboards around town and Hoff is pretty gay on the billboard. So I'm gonna say that makes him gay in the Musical and for doing the musical.

Flaming Hoff.

Dear God in heaven...

That is worthy of several responses.

1. It explains the alcohol problem.
2. What the fuck is up with those wiener dogs throughout the video?
3. 1:48 in. What the hell?
4. In a few years, we might look back at that video and wonder how we didn't know the Hoff was gay earlier.
5. I was unaware that Hasselhoff had the ability of flight.
6. Kind of puts Shatner's "Rocket man" into perspective.

Ah, that video brings back memories.

You are in line for a bansticking just for bringing this topic to the surface, douche.

That video... It remains the fucking awesomest thing ever.

I still don't get that guy that goes across the bottom of the screen around 1:48.

No one does. Really. No one.

One of the comments on the video mentioned that both times that alien/owl guy shows up, the Hoff is saying the word "high." I doubt they put that much thought into it.

The only thing they put any thought into in that video was the excessive use of a green screen. The video reminds me of one of those videos you can make at an amusement park.