Pizza Rolls and Ice Cream

[kidhuman]

So yesterday, myself and Auxiliary entered a Pizza Roll eating contest at work. The rules were who could eat 40 pizza rolls in the quickest time. Well I destroyed him and 4 others. I ate them in 2.5 minutes. I felt like shit afterwards, stomach hurting and nauseous. But I won the overall contest by 40 seconds over the next quickest person. After this, there is no fuckin way I will ever enter the Nathans contest.

[Zero]

Snigtad, Boner, and Dell entered a similar contest to see who could chug the most semen. Snigtad won handily as he's used to that sort of thing at home.

[Double_G]

You mean those Totino's Pizza Rolls? I love those things.

[kidhuman]

You mean those Totino's Pizza Rolls? I love those things.

Yeah those

[kidhuman]

Well, today was the finals where they took all the winners of the different contests and pitted them against each other. It was 2.5 quarts of ice cream, whoever finished first won. I won. Fuck em all.

Aux was there, it wasnt a pretty site. We didnt use standard spoons, we used the big cooking spoons to shovel them into our gourdes. Less then ten minutes after it started, I emerged victorious. I was sipping warm flat soda to kill the cold bursts. I dont feel too good now. I took a shit and it stunk bad.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

What did you win, other than a toilet full of shit and some regret?

[kidhuman]

Well, I had my pic in the local newspaper and I won 5 free movie tickets. Big freakin whoop, movie passes that can not be used until 3 weeks after a movie is out. And why 5? Why an odd number? Who the fuck goes to the movies by their lonesome that isn't named Flornbi?

[anarky]

I saw TMNT by myself, since the wife didn't want to go. (She later saw it on DVD and loved it.)

[Double_G]

Who the fuck goes to the movies by their lonesome that isn't named Flornbi?

Sometimes I'll go to a movie by myself if nobody else I know wants to see it (happened this year with Shrek the Third. They were right, the movie sucked anyway).