the vynsane asylum

I was in the airport, and I had to take a dump. I ran in, dropped trou, and began to give birth to a beautiful ball of chocolate goop.

I'm in mid-push when the guy next to me kicks me!

At first I think it's an accident. But he does it again. "Do you need some toilet paper or something?" The guy says no.

"Well, then, stop kicking me, dammit!"

To which he replied, "It's okay. I'm a Senator."

So, do you still have that taste in your mouth that Senor JJL was trying to describe - the one that's hard to get rid of?

"If you don't get done shitting before me, I'm going to be waiting outside your stall. And that will be the end of your normal 'I-dont-need-to-eat-through-a-straw' life, Senator Fucktits."

When I was in university a floor-mate of mine peed on my foot when we were in neighboring stalls. I promptly went and populated a condom which I then used to adorn his doorknob. He was not amused.

One time our friend Roy pissed on Cappy's hand.
True story.