the vynsane asylum

This sounds embarrassing. Only a pussy toddler could get drunk off sangria, and then only after it was distilled, right?

Yesterday, for my bro-in-law's birthday, me, Mrs A, and her two brothers went to an early lunch at a Brazilian steakhouse. I'm not sure how common these are outside CA, and they're on the pricey side, but you basically have a buffet for all your sides and the wait staff keeps bringing out (mabs, cover your eyes!) all sorts of exotic meats, poultry, etc. You pay a lot, but, if you're hungry, you eat a fuckload. And, since it's one price, you can theoretically only take the fillet mignon when they bring it out. (I take anything they offer. Even chicken hearts. Not something I normally eat, but, hey, it's included, and I figure it's just the strongest muscle of an animal I probably ate earlier in the meal, anyway.)

So her brothers and I order Brazilian beers. (Xingu. Very, very good stuff--like a stout with absolutely no bitterness.) And the waiter offers sangria. We figure sangria is like Kool-Aid, and order a pitcher. It's not until it comes out that he tells us what's in it. It's sangria only in name, and in pieces of apple floating in it. Vodka, bourbon, two types of rum, amaretto... think "Long Island Iced Sangria."

One of her brothers has a very low tolerance and only has about half a glass. Which leaves me and her other brother. (Mrs A was already driving, and she could smell this and know drinking any was a no-no.) And both of us are solidly of the mind that we ordered it, we're paying for it, and, by God, we're going to drink it.

A beer and four glasses of sangria that could be used in a molotov cocktail, consumed early in the day when there's not much already in your stomach (never mind the ton or so of meat going in at the same time), can really knock you for a loop. Especially since you've never had more than a beer or two with dinner since a certain disturbing evening of ranting online. If I didn't have one of those crazy-fast metabolisms, I'd have been out of commission all day yesterday. I'd maybe now even be typing, "FUCK IT! MORE SANGRIA BITCHES!!!!!!!!"

anarky wrote:Yesterday, for my bro-in-law's birthday, me, Mrs A, and her two brothers went to an early lunch at a Brazilian steakhouse. I'm not sure how common these are outside CA, and they're on the pricey side, but you basically have a buffet for all your sides and the wait staff keeps bringing out (mabs, cover your eyes!) all sorts of exotic meats, poultry, etc. You pay a lot, but, if you're hungry, you eat a fuckload. And, since it's one price, you can theoretically only take the fillet mignon when they bring it out. (I take anything they offer. Even chicken hearts. Not something I normally eat, but, hey, it's included, and I figure it's just the strongest muscle of an animal I probably ate earlier in the meal, anyway.)

fuck yeah! churrascaria is the SHIT! there's a place that i've been to on long island, greenfields, that does the exact same thing. i didn't find them all that pricey for the all-you-can-eat service, but then again, you're on the left coast - everything's a bit more expensive there.

their lunch special was the best, however. when i was working in the stock room of a pottery barn, i told the other dudes about it and they were stoked. the store was doing poorly and they would cut shifts without warning, so we said the next time they cut our shifts we'd hit up the lunch special (i think it was like, $12.99 or something). we walked in there and there were maybe three other tables occupied. we ate and ate and ate, watched tables turn over like, three of four times, and not once turned the little dowel rod to "red" (there's a dowel with red, green, and yellow on it - leave it green and the guys will keep coming around to you, red means they won't come to you). we took everything they offered, for about 3.5 hours. when we finally turned the dowel over to red, one of the guys came out and said "finally! you guys were scaring us!"

glorious.

They've got those places over here in Japan as well. They're yakiniku restaraunts (yakiniku means "grilled meat" and my name (Nick) translates into Niku so my name in Japanese means meat...) and they charge usually $20-$30 American and it's all you can eat and drink for 90 minutes. They just bring plates of raw meat and you cook it up with the seasonings and you get all you can eat rice (I'm in love with rice!). You get about 5 people with you and you can literally wipe the place out of meat. It's very true that Americans are fatter and can eat a shit ton more than the Japanese can.