the vynsane asylum

you watch and discuss Walker, Texas Ranger with him. Yeah, I did it on Thursday. Back-to-Back episodes, even. He got a good laugh from some of the "Facts" I recited.

Scary

He had the remote...what's a guy to do? It was funny how much knew about Chuck Norris, like Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick was clocked at 180 mph.

We never got married, so technically he wasn't my father-in-law, but the first time I met the parents of the mother of my children, she was already pregnant.


Awkward.

Eeks. He didn't produce a firearm at any point during dinner, did he?

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Eternal Padawan</i>
<br />We never got married, so technically he wasn't my father-in-law, but the first time I met the parents of the mother of my children, she was already pregnant.


Awkward.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Ok, I met my wife in 1994. Since then, I've had the initial meet the parents conversation, the "you're living with my daughter" conversation, the "It's about time you're marrying my daughter" conversation, the "you are making my daughter move across country" conversation, the "grandkids" conversation, and now the Chuck Norris conversation. EP, that has to be more awkward than every talk I've had with my in-laws combined.

what is so special about a chuck norris conversation were you like watching re runs of the dating game or something be cause how else would it come up lol?

You guys don't know the half of it. She was 17. I was 23. ZAMBONI! I was working at Best Buy as a supervisor and this 4'9' cutie pie with great legs came in to ask for an application. She started working there and after awhile, we went out on a date. And by date I mean we drove to a playground and she sucked me off. Then she started skipping classes so she could come over to my place and ...y'know. Well, she got pregnant. I wasn't looking for that whole platter, so I talked her into getting rid of it and we fought and argued for along time. And we drove about 200 miles to this place on the Iowa/Missouri border one morning.

And in an emotional decision I am eternally grateful for in ways that I can't even begin to describe: She chickened out. She couldn't go through with it. I'm so glad she had the courage to, because I can't imagine my life without Victoria in it. I still get queasy thinking about how I didn't want her. So we had an emotional trip home. A lot of scared feelings and crying and resolve and decision making.

And then I got invited over to meet her parents. Yip.Pee.

Well you know EP, they might as well meet the father of their grandchild, like it or not.

When I first moved in with my wife, I was supposued to go meet her parents on a Sunday. I told my wife I didnt feel good and she got pissed and left. When she came home and found me slumped over praying to the porcelain god, she apologized.

Now that I've seen pics of your wife, you should be thankful of every second you get with her. ZOWIE!

I had six <s>good</s> years with their mom. And five great years with my not-girlfriend. Unfortunately, four of those years overlapped, which is why she's my not-girlfriend. Women tend to get upset when you hide the birth of a child from them.

Good lord, it's worse than I thought. Aparently I'm not the only one in my household to have watched Walker, Texas Ranger with my father in law. This morning, I was watching TV with my daughter, and the commercial came on for Chuck's home gym. My daughter (who has up to this point, never recognized a celebrity on TV) says, "Hey, it's that guy!"

"Huh?" I said. "Where did you see him?"

"On TV."

"Where?"

"At Grandpa's house."

My wife later confirmed it. Never doubt the power of Chuck Norris!