So I just got mugged.

[Double_G]

I was walking to class this morning and all of a sudden three kids come up behind me and ask me for a smoke. I told them I didn't have any cigarettes on me. They then asked if they could borrow some cash. I told them that I didn't have any cash on me (it was the truth. I only had my debit card). Next thing I know, one of the kids cold clocks me in the face. I stumble a bit, but then I regained my balance and hit him back. I hit the other kid in the face right after that and I started running. I start running without looking back and bam! I get hit in the head with a rock. The kids took my wallet, my cell phone and my iPod. I immediately filed a police report on the campus and gave them my information and everything. Anyway, the cops are on it and I'm alright, but my mom got scared and said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'.I begged and pleaded with her day after day, but she packed my suite case and sent me on my way. She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'. First class, yo this is bad, drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright. But wait I hear the pricey booze, wine all that. Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat? I don't think so, I'll see when I get there. I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air. Well, the plane landed and when I came out. There was a dude who looked like a cop and yelled my name out. I ain't trying to get arrested, I just got here. I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared. I whistled for a cab and when it came near. The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare. But I thought 'Naw forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'. I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'. I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

[anarky]

Bel Air? You'll be closer to me and Ete--uh, the spot where EP is buried!

I take it the first part is true? That really blows. Hard. Hopefully, if it's students, it'll be easier to find them. If not, maybe they'll stand out from the crowd and get caught. I haven't been mugged, but my house was broken into and a lot of shit stolen (and we didn't have an alarm system because 95% of robberies are committed by someone who knows what you have--well, guess who lucky motherfucking 5% was?).

In any case, call up the credit bureaus immediately and put a hold on your credit report. That's the thing you've got to worry about the most these days. And if you haven't, cancel the cell phone. I've seen stuff about stolen cell phones being used to rack up ridiculous amounts of calls to foreign countries within a few minutes.

[kidhuman]

Damn dude, that sucks ass. Hopefully they get theirs.

[Zero]

You fucking liar.

[Double_G]

Guys, I was kidding. I wasn't mugged. I just pulled the Bel Air trick on all yo white asses!

Seriously, if it had really happened I would have posted it on the other site. I was just bored as hell this morning.

[anarky]

Dammit, I knew the second part was you ripping off the Fresh Prince. (He'll never be Will Smith to me.) But the first part actually was rather convincing, and, uh, it didn't quite follow the Fresh Prine vibe.

Asshole. I'll write a permission slip so that Bizarro the Grin can fuck your ass tonight even though you don't have kids. (We can do that, right?)

[Double_G]

Asshole. I'll write a permission slip so that Bizarro the Grin can fuck your ass tonight even though you don't have kids. (We can do that, right?)

I'll wear duct tape over my ass, but I'm not sure if that'll help.

[kidhuman]

I hope your mother gives birth to Snigtads kids and they all end up like him and they fuck you in the skull you harpy bitch

[jjreason]

Well at least in your fantasy mugging you got to pop 2 of the schmucks. That's better than most people in real life manage (though I wouldn't necessarily advise that course of action unless you're a carded UFC dude or possibly Daredevil).

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Reading the first part of the story, I was going to call you a pussy. Now I'm going to call you a dick.

Dick.

[Snigtad Flornbi]

I'M CALING U A DICK! I AM A PUSEY!!!! BURN BURN BURN