I just got home and sat down to relax for a few when I heard a weird noise from the kitchen. I thought maybe it was my dogs getting into something, but before i could yell at them I noticed they were in the living room with me. And that was when the little fucker swooped through the room. Quickly I went down the hallway closing doors to limit his area. As I did the dickhead flew into the basement, which ended up being great because we have a sliding door that cuts the kitchen off from the side door and stairs area. I slid that door shut and propped open the side door and made my way to the basement with a blanket to toss over the pecker who was busy trying to fly into a mirror. When I turned on the light he freaked, flew around the basement, then up the stairs toward the door, but he didn't go out. Then I snapped the blanket up the stairs which scared him out the damn door.
I checked all the windows and none were open or broken so the fucker must've somehow slipped in either when I got home, let the dogs out when I let them in.
This was a very Tycho-esque rant, but I fucking hate birds.
The useless fucks.
I just had damn bird in my house
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Diabolical
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I just had damn bird in my house
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
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jjreason
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Re: I just had damn bird in my house
Huh. I can't say that I've ever had a bird in the house. I've been in rooms where they've hit the window though, scares the shit out of everyone. 
"Something inside me....."
Re: I just had damn bird in my house
I've had a bat in the house before. Thank God we were renting and I called the landlord to come deal with the nasty little fucker.
Recently, there has been a bright yellow Finch looking bird that has made a home in front of the bay window in our living room. For the last month he has been there almost every morning hanging out. It seems normal until he flies at the window and starts pecking the living shit out of it. Every time. I don't understand it, but the kids think its hilarious!
Recently, there has been a bright yellow Finch looking bird that has made a home in front of the bay window in our living room. For the last month he has been there almost every morning hanging out. It seems normal until he flies at the window and starts pecking the living shit out of it. Every time. I don't understand it, but the kids think its hilarious!
Last edited by Antropov on Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Diabolical
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Re: I just had damn bird in my house
We had a few bats when we lived in the apartment. Disgusting creatures.
The first one - As the wife got ready for work very early one morning it started flying around the apartment. Naturally she freaked and ran into the bedroom and woke me up. All I had to hit/kill it was either a hockey stick or a 2' X 2' board I had started painting on. I grabbed the hockey stick first but realized before I opened the door how useless it would be against a flying, swooping vermin, so I grabbed the board. The moment I stepped out of the bedroom the fucker swooped by and I swung this big ass board and clocked him, which sent him hurtling to the bathroom floor. He wasn't dead but I dazed that sumbitch good. He started to recover as I threw a trash can over him and he had a wing sticking out. When I lifted the edge of the can to slid a piece of cardboard underneath (so I could pick it up) the wife thought (for some strange reason) she could kill it be spraying cleaning chemicals at it. I told her is she was going to piss it off then she could deal with it. That was enough to stop that nonsense. Eventually I got the cardboard under the can, picked it up and threw the little fucker out the window. It was still dark, but it looked like he went straight down to the ground.
The second one was in the box our Christmas Tree was in. I wasn't home when it made its appearance but the wife took care of it (somehow).
The first one - As the wife got ready for work very early one morning it started flying around the apartment. Naturally she freaked and ran into the bedroom and woke me up. All I had to hit/kill it was either a hockey stick or a 2' X 2' board I had started painting on. I grabbed the hockey stick first but realized before I opened the door how useless it would be against a flying, swooping vermin, so I grabbed the board. The moment I stepped out of the bedroom the fucker swooped by and I swung this big ass board and clocked him, which sent him hurtling to the bathroom floor. He wasn't dead but I dazed that sumbitch good. He started to recover as I threw a trash can over him and he had a wing sticking out. When I lifted the edge of the can to slid a piece of cardboard underneath (so I could pick it up) the wife thought (for some strange reason) she could kill it be spraying cleaning chemicals at it. I told her is she was going to piss it off then she could deal with it. That was enough to stop that nonsense. Eventually I got the cardboard under the can, picked it up and threw the little fucker out the window. It was still dark, but it looked like he went straight down to the ground.
The second one was in the box our Christmas Tree was in. I wasn't home when it made its appearance but the wife took care of it (somehow).
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
Re: I just had damn bird in my house
Probably a combination of Formula 409, bleach, Kaboom!, CLR, Mr. Clean, Fantastic and dish soap.Diabolical wrote: The second one was in the box our Christmas Tree was in. I wasn't home when it made its appearance but the wife took care of it (somehow).
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Diabolical
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Re: I just had damn bird in my house
What do sex toys have to do with getting rid of a bat?Antropov wrote:Probably a combination of Formula 409, bleach, Kaboom!, CLR, Mr. Clean, Fantastic and dish soap.Diabolical wrote: The second one was in the box our Christmas Tree was in. I wasn't home when it made its appearance but the wife took care of it (somehow).
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.
Re: I just had damn bird in my house
A bird in your house is a bad omen. I don't want to sould like a hippie slut when I say that, but I believe in that shit. Every time a bird flies into my window, shit always happens shortly after. A few months ago, a bird flew into the glass door by my kitchen and it died. And the weeks after that just really sucked. Coincidence? I think not. The devil is behind all this. I just know it. He's sending the birds to fly into our homes because we haven't accepted Jesus into our lives. Now if we just all hold hands with one another and pray, we can accept Jesus into our hearts. And while we're praying, if you could please send me your social security number and your home address, I will pray for your soul. And I will relay your information back to Jesus so that he may enter your lives without showing up at the wrong house.
But really, a bird in your house is a bad omen. And so is broken glass. And it all depends what kind of glass. Clear glass means nothing. But colored glass is significant. I think red glass specifically is bad. And guess what? This little red glass lamp I have just fell over the other day and it broke. I got notin' but good days ahead of me. I do have a sunburn. Maybe that's the bad luck the broken lamp hath foreseen.
But really, a bird in your house is a bad omen. And so is broken glass. And it all depends what kind of glass. Clear glass means nothing. But colored glass is significant. I think red glass specifically is bad. And guess what? This little red glass lamp I have just fell over the other day and it broke. I got notin' but good days ahead of me. I do have a sunburn. Maybe that's the bad luck the broken lamp hath foreseen.
