Emeril Lagasse fucking Rachael Ray!

[anarky]

Inspired by JJL's post, this is assembled from their stupid catch-phrases (and a couple of other lines I've heard them say that seem a bit suggestive out of context). If you ever have watched either, you might like this. Rollo won't, as he's a dick.

"Hi, I'm Emeril Lagasse."
"My name's Rachael Ray and I... do it in thirty minutes or less."
"Okay, let's peel that off--aww, beautiful."
"Mmm, can you smell that?"
"I don't know where you get your tuna, but where I get mine, it don't come seasoned!"
"Let's rock and roll."
"Put a little Essence in there."
"Have a bite of that."
[inarticulate silly noises]
"Mmmm, that's good!"
"BAM!"
"Now the juices are really stewing."
"I've got an andouille sausage you're just gonna die for."
"Yummo!"
"Just pop that in your mouth."
"Delish!"
[inarticulate humming and silly noises]
"It's a stoup--thicker than a soup, but not as thick as a stew."
"Let's crank it up a notch."
"Drizzle a little E.V.O.O. on there."
"Aw, yeah, baby."
"Okay, now we pop that in the oven."
[inarticulate imitation of Curly from The Three Stooges]
"Gotta stay on top of things."
"BAM!!! BAM! BAM!!!!"
"Oh my God, that's good."
"Now let's take that out--mmmmm, beautiful."
"And we just stick that back here in the garbage bowl."
"Stick around--another notch!"
"Ooh, looks like we're all out of time for today."

[vynsane]

"And we just stick that back here in the garbage bowl."

holy crap, that's awesome. we've got a new metaphor for anal sex.

[Mister Roboto]

Sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool
Got the twelve o'clock news blues
And I've given up hope on the afternoon soaps
And a bottle of cold brew
Is it any wonder I'm not crazy? Is it any wonder I'm sane at all
Well I'm so tired of losing- I got nothing to do and all day to do it
I go out cruisin' but I've no place to go and all night to get there
Is it any wonder I'm not a criminal?
Is it any wonder I'm not in jail?
Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands, it's ticking away with my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands, it's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands and it's ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

Well, I'm a jet fuel genius - I can solve the world's problems
Without even trying
I have dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as I'm buying
Is it any wonder I'm not the president
(He's not the president)
Is it any wonder I'm null and void?
Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands, it's ticking away at my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands, it's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands and it's ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

[Zero]

YEAH.

THAT WAS MY SHTICK.

THEN IT WAS BUMBLEBEE'S.

BUT I DO REALIZE THAT WAS STYX LYRICS
AND THE CHORUS IS RELEVANT TO ANARKY
DOING A HELL OF A LOT OF COLOR, COPY AND PASTE
FOR THAT JOKE.


SO I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A THUMBS UP.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN THE SCIONS OF DOUCHE!

ALL HAIL DOUCHE!

DOUCHE!
DOUCHE!





DOUCHE!

[anarky]

Thanks, but no thanks, you futuristic robofag.

Had I waited till today, I could've worked in this gem. I turned on the TV, and the default channel was playing Rachael Ray's stupid-ass talk show, and, as soon as the power came on, I heard:

"I guess it's not secret anymore now that I've shown you, huh?"

By the way, four minutes. Mrs Anarky and I always make stupid jokes about the dumb shit these two say. They're pretty committed to memory.

[Ran]

Thanks, but no thanks, you futuristic robofag.

Had I waited till today, I could've worked in this gem. I turned on the TV, and the default channel was playing Rachael Ray's stupid-ass talk show, and, as soon as the power came on, I heard:

"I guess it's not secret anymore now that I've shown you, huh?"

By the way, four minutes. Mrs Anarky and I always make stupid jokes about the dumb shit these two say. They're pretty committed to memory.

You can do a sequel. Make it a 3-way with Martha Stewart. "Its a good thing."

[Tom Foolery]

This is one of several cooking related topics and I didn't feel like starting a new one.

When is (or Why doesn't) someone going to bury a cooking knife in Gordon Ramsay's heart? They're laying all over the place on that show of his. He'll be screaming at them like the asshole he is, and they'll just calmly turn around and plunge the knife into his chest up to the hilt while looking into his confused face.

Then the jury will acquit.

[anarky]

Because you've got to give him credit--he's actually a much better cook than most TV celebrutard chefs.