The craziest thing an ATM's ever said to me

[anarky]

I went to an ATM this afternoon. I did a simple transaction. No biggie.

While waiting for the transaction to process and print my receipt (yeah, it kills trees, but I don't trust banks at all and want a paper trail), the ATM asked if I wanted to "share" my transaction on Facebook.

What.

The.

Literal.

Tapdancing.

Jesus.

Fuck?

What's next? You go online to your HMO's website to check your test results and get the option to share that on Facebook? Or maybe your traffic tickets?

Really, did some dumb fuck in the marketing department at my bank think this was a smart use of social media that customers would embrace?

[Mister Roboto]

The craziest thing an ATM said to me was "Diddle yuir bum fer a quid, Guv'nah?!!"

I wasn't sure if he was offering ME the quid. Or if I had to pay him. Or what.
Plus, since it was an ATM, I'm pretty sure they would've tacked on a $1.75 processing fee or some other hidden charge bullshit. So I declined.

But I won't say I didn't walk away curious.

[vynsane]

the craziest thing an ATM ever said to me was that i had some money this one time.

[Negative Boy]

I was gonna tell you guys my craziest ATM story.

But then I realized ATM means something different to me than it does to you. Mine was about an 18 year old Korean stewardess on a Los Angeles to Seoul overnight flight. She was squeaky. In a good way.

[anarky]

Oh, Neggie (can I call you Neggie?), we all wish we had your imaginary luck with imaginary women.

[Negative Boy]

Oh, Neggie (can I call you Neggie?), we all wish we had your imaginary luck with imaginary women.

Fixed. You're a tampon.