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Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:35 am
by Newsbot
Code: Select all
In light of the (not exactly) recent firing of Dan Rather to make way for the more cute and cuddly Katie Couric, this reporter has been reformatted into a brand new body capable of processing the news 7800 kHz more quickly, and of developing fluff pieces which go great with your morning coffee!
All data from the previous Newsbot body has been downloaded into the new chassis, which not only has several thousand times the computing power, but looks better in a bikini.
This reporter eagerly looks forward to servicing all your news needs.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:12 am
by Eternal Padawan
That sounds dirty.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:00 pm
by Ran
This one certainly does look better in a bikini.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:23 pm
by anarky
Y'know, Katie Couric is kinda an old wrinkly broad who may've been cute at one point but who can remember? (Sorta like a skinnier version of Elizabeth Taylor without the Michael Jackson sidekick.)
I wonder if the new Newsbot chassis was based on pictures of Couric from a decade or so ago? 'Cause I think I might actually tap that, given the opportunity.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:29 pm
by Eternal Padawan
anarky wrote:Y'know, Katie Couric is kinda an old wrinkly broad who may've been cute at one point but who can remember? (Sorta like a skinnier version of Elizabeth Taylor without the Michael Jackson sidekick.)
I wonder if the new Newsbot chassis was based on pictures of Couric from a decade or so ago? 'Cause I think I might actually tap that, given the opportunity.
I was about to say something very similar, using the word "Frumpy". I never had these conflicting feelings about the old Newsbot.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:30 pm
by anarky
No, you just wanted to bang him.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:44 pm
by Eternal Padawan
anarky wrote:No, you just wanted to bang him.
In the skull. With a hammer.
No, sir. I like to keep my news and porn separate.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:48 pm
by Batman
Hmmmm....
This new... appearance for... Newsbot is... most unsettling.
Robin, run a comparison scan with the following... Bat-file and determine if this archfoe is... posing as our erstwhile comrade.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:00 pm
by Ran
anarky wrote:Y'know, Katie Couric is kinda an old wrinkly broad who may've been cute at one point but who can remember? (Sorta like a skinnier version of Elizabeth Taylor without the Michael Jackson sidekick.)
I wonder if the new Newsbot chassis was based on pictures of Couric from a decade or so ago? 'Cause I think I might actually tap that, given the opportunity.
I don't watch the news anymore. It's too depressing. So when I think of Katie Couric, the image of her in my head is of her 10 years go. Is anyone else suprised The Grin hasn't made a pass at the new and improved Newsbot yet?
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:00 pm
by Seamus ODoyle
Here's the eight fuckin' dollars I owe ye.....fer services rendered!! Hey OH! Take that ye fuckin' cunt newsbitch! Dinnae matter whether ye be man nor women, yuir still a wank douche! BEGORRAH!!
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:22 pm
by zombie
* ~ hurrrrrrrrr ` *
BRAINS!!!
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:59 pm
by Newsbot
THIS JUST IN!!
In order to comply with the Old Fart European Dickweeds With Shitty Eyesight Act of 1893, this reporter has been ordered by The President to reformat herself again.
From now on, this reporter's stories will now be transmitted in boldface rather than the code-text you have all come to know and love. Although I'm sure you all masturbated quite frequently to my code, you will now have to find a way to be turned on by boldface text.
Not to worry: my luscious cyber-boobs will remain intact.
Oh, and fuck you, Jargo, for turning me in.
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:27 pm
by Jargo
My legs are gray, my ears are gnarled, my eyes are old and bent ...
Re: Newsbot reformatted!
Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:34 pm
by The President
Not so much an order as it was a formal suggestion. I talked it over with Hilary and she said this would be a strong first step in revitalizing our foreign relations with our European neighbors.
I would also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the pending switch to digital broadcasting in just a few short weeks. It looks to be an exciting future in broadcasting!
Jump back two times. What what?
Peace.