The Yule Goat (Sw. julbock) is one of the oldest Scandinavian and Northern European Yule and Christmas symbols. Its origins might go as far back as to pre-Christian days, where goats where connected to the god Thor, who rode the sky in a wagon drawn by a pair of goats.
The function of the Yule Goat has differed throughout the ages. As far as until the 19th century, youths would go from house to house during Christmas time to perform small plays or sing Yule Goat songs, with one of the people in the group dressed up as the Yule Goat. During the 19th century its role shifted towards becoming the giver of Christmas gifts, with one of the men in the family dressing up as the Yule Goat. This tradition would have the goat replaced with the jultomte (Santa Claus) at the end of the century, and the tradition of the man-sized goat disappeared.
The Yule Goat can also be a figure, often made out of straw or roughly-hewn wood. In older Scandinavian society a popular prank was to place the Yule Goat in a neighbour's house without them noticing; the family successfully pranked had to get rid of it in the same way. The modern version of the Yule Goat figure is a decorative goat made out of straw and bound with red ribbons, a popular Christmas ornament often found under the Christmas tree. Large versions of this ornament are frequently erected in towns and cities around Christmas time — these goats tend to be set on fire before Christmas, a "tradition" that is dangerous, illegal and certainly unasked for by the goat makers. The Gävle goat was the first of these goats, and remains the most famous as well as the most burnt down.
Snigtad is related to you, too. His great great granddaddy, Hobart Flantdig, fucked your great aunt Mossie on old Flanagan's farm and their love child was Snig's great grandpa Philius Flantdig, the Amazing Goat Boy.
True story.
NO HANDLEBARS HAN SHOT. FIRST! PERIOD. NO HANDLEBARS MORE COWBELL! NO HANDLEBARS GO FUCK YOURSELF™
Zero wrote:Snigtad is related to you, too. His great great granddaddy, Hobart Flantdig, fucked your great aunt Mossie on old Flanagan's farm and their love child was Snig's great grandpa Philius Flantdig, the Amazing Goat Boy.
True story.
That would explain why he smells worse than my nuts do.
i LIKE THE NEW AVATAR, dOUBLE_g. tHAT MAN WAS AWESOME IN THE SACK.
hE USED TO SING TO ME WHEN I BLEW MY LOAD IN HIS ASS, AND IT SOUNDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
"eARLY ONE MORNING WHILE SHOPPING AT THE MALL
i SAW bIZARRO tHE gRIN AND i SUCKED HIS BALLS
sUCKED 'EM HARD AND i SUCKED THEM DRY
bUT HE STILL HAD ENOUGH JIZZ TO SQUIRT IT IN MY EYE!"
iT'S A SHAME HE'S DEAD. hE DOESN'T MOVE AROUND NEARLY AS MUCH WHEN i FUCK HIM NOW.
I'm not sure I'd be dissing on a man whose toe clipping are more man than you, especially in light of what was recently uncovered while researching the Flantdig genealogy. It seems in addition to Hobart and Mossie's love child Philius Flantdig, Hobart had two other children with a Chilean porn stars retarded fluffer/sister. Yancio Guiterrez married Hobart in a quickie ceremony and had two children. Aggapio Flantdig, who would be the first man to give himself a blumpkin, and Berniece Flantdig, who later moved to Maryland and married one Julius Cleveland Grin, YOUR FATHER.
So if Berniece is your mother, Philius is your uncle and Snigtad is your second cousin on your mother's side. Or some shit. In any case, you're a bonafide member of the Flornbi clan, bitch.
Weep.
NO HANDLEBARS HAN SHOT. FIRST! PERIOD. NO HANDLEBARS MORE COWBELL! NO HANDLEBARS GO FUCK YOURSELF™
