Great new product names

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:23 pm

I swear I am not making this up.

My wife does these online marketing surveys, and she got one from Vicks, who are apparently working on a new sore throat medication. It asked her to rank the possible names. There were the basic (like "Vicks' Sore Throat"), and some really, really interesting possibilities.

Among the possibilities for this upcoming sore throat medication (and, again, I must stress that this is not fabricated in any way):
Throat-X
Throat Coat
Throat Action

Is it just me, or do those sound like porno titles?

Post by **vynsane** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:26 pm

that's awesome.

"throat-x: now with deep throat coating action"

i think that will sell like hardcore pancakes...

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:27 pm

'Throat-X: The specially formulated protein rich lubricant makes it easier to swallow.'

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 2:41 pm

That would make the extra strength version Throat XXX of course..... Jesus, but people are totally oblivious to how that shit sounds to perverts like us, aren't they? They obviously need a porn-knowledgeable person on the advisory board. Maybe there's a job in there somewhere for us.....

Post by **vynsane** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 9:51 pm

oh, yeah... one of the guys i worked with at pottery barn in NY took the worst example of pornographic product naming as his screen-name here: tasia salad.

say it fast.

seriously, pottery barn had a collection of dinnerware called the "tasia" collection, and the salad plate's ticket only said "tasia salad." priceless!

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:08 am

So "Tasia" sounds like "toss-ya" not like Asia with a T. Makes a lot more dirty sense now.

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:21 am

yeah, it was pronounced that way... i know... all these places with their own way of spelling/pronouncing things. they've got a couple of items right now that contradict each other's rules:

matelasse (now, i would pronounce that MAT-el-ass) but they say it's MAT-le-say, even though there's no accent aigu...

cloche (i would say clo-SHAY, going with the above idea,) but they say it's CLOwsh.

whatever.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:11 am

Okay, gotcha. I thought it was "tay-zha" as well.

But it's not really the pervs coming up with the double entendres here. My wife's pretty normal, yet she recognized this as significant enough to share with me. "Throat Action" is pretty damn obvious. I hope some idiot in the marketing department was reamed over that one.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 1:29 am

Reamed nothing, he should have had to blow his fattest, ugliest male boss for coming up with an idea like that.

"Deep Throat XXX, for all those nasty tickles waaaaaaaaay down the back of your throat that Throat X just can't scratch!"