Michael Jackson: What the fuck happened?

[anarky]

Okay, hear me out. Don't label me as a shithead right off the bat. You all liked the guy once, too.

A few days ago, I saw Costco had the new extended 3-disc version of The Essential Michael Jackson for $12 (cheaper than the 2-disc version had been). This version added "Blood on the Dance Floor" (one of his very, very few worthwhile tracks since Dangerous), so, combined with the early Motown stuff, it was worth buying to fill in some holes. (I'm still missing the Epic-era Jacksons stuff, collaborations with USA for Africa and Rockwell, and "Farewell My Summer Love," which I am not too interested in but Mrs A wants.)

Listening to it in chronological order is really amazing. We have someone who, as a kid, starts off at the top of his game, and only goes upward until about 1982. Then he stays close to that peak for about ten years. And then--WHOOSH!! I don't think anyone's ever descended so quickly.

The Jackson 5 stuff is amazing. As a kid, I loved it because it's catchy, fun, ultimately harmless. As an adult, I'm listening to the entire package and thinking, "God damn--they were all kids? Fuck, Tito is one badass motherfucking rhythm guitarist."

His 80s stuff is absolutely mindblowing. From Off the Wall to Dangerous, he put out some amazing work. When Off the Wall is the weakest album you have (as it was until HIStory Vol 1 came out in around 1994 or so), you've got a pretty strong catalog. Hell, both Thriller and Bad are essentially greatest hits albums. Even stuff he was doing on the side (like "Say Say Say" with McCartney or "Somebody's Watching Me" with Rockwell) tops almost every other pop song from the decade. "Billie Jean" is a fucking masterpiece.

But then the filler started showing more than the Thriller on Dangerous. It was still an awesome album. But the weaker tracks were much weaker than before, and every song wasn't a hit single. The new stuff on HIStory (aside from "Scream") was forgettable compared to his older stuff--not bad, but not nearly up to par. Then he put out an album called HIStory in the Mix that was half new, half remixed. Aside from "Blood on the Dance Floor," it sucked ass. Even BOTDF is only good because the lyrics sound like Bad-era MJ; the production sucks ass.

The tracks I've heard from Invincible would embarrass Michael Bolton. They're that bad.

So, honestly, what the fuck? Forget the fact that he has had so much plastic surgery that Joan Rivers comments on how bad he looks and his nose, literally, falls off at times. Ignore his quasi-pedophilia. There are a lot of artistic geniuses who are severely fucked in the head. But how do you go from the absolute top of the game, one of the few people who can legitimately be mentioned in the same sentence as Elvis or the Beatles, a pop genius who is so good at his game that even folks who don't like pop music appreciate his talent, to such utter mediocrity?

It is really, really sad. Even Madonna and Prince, whose situations are similar, aren't so pathetic, because, even at the height of their talent and popularity, they didn't come close to Michael Jackson.

An entire generation will know about his slumber parties without ever blowing out a speaker to "Beat It."

[Rollo Tomassi]

As a musician, I think that guy is the kitty's PJs. I think he just burned out and wasn't in to it creatively like he was before. If you become the butt of an international joke, I don't think you would want to make good music for the people berating you and accusing you of heinous shit 24/7 either. It's like "Fuck these people, they don't deserve to hear my genius shit."


As a pedophile meltyface, I think he probably has a collection of kiddie PJs in his closet.

[vynsane]

i have a feeling both his strange predilections and his musical/creative implosion both stem from the same thing: he wasn't allowed to be a child when he actually was one. his father forced him into the limelight at such an early age, and they became a sensation the likes of which has never been seen again so quickly that he was hidden away from other children his age and thus never acquired the social skills and natural state of being most of us have. most of the crazy things he's been confirmed of doing have been little more than acting out in order to attain some semblance of the childhood he missed out on (building an amusement park full of exotic animals to live in - isn't that every kid's dream???)

even to the point of having "sleep-overs". we don't know what happened at these. it's confirmed that he's invited children to hang out at his crazy amusement park house and that they've spent the night there. regardless of what else may or may not have happened, he's just trying to have a childhood again, basically hanging out with his peer group because he was never allowed to progress beyond that age, mentally.

when the accusations hit, he didn't know what to do. so he withdrew into his little bubble world and in a vain effort to continue to live the lifestyle he was accustomed to, continues to try to make money the only way he's capable of: music. but his heart's just not in it like it used to be, mainly because of what rollo pointed out, but also because of his withdrawal from society it's like he just doesn't understand the modern era of music and what people are looking for.

or his star just burnt out, as is the case with the star that burns the brightest.

[Ran]

Even way back in 1983 when I was 10, I didn't really like Michael Jackson.

There is a 64 year old lady I work with. She was ranting about how Scientologists scare her, specifically Tom Cruse. She is convinced that Michael Jackson is a Scientologist, too. According to her, he used to be a Jehovah's witness.

[vynsane]

There is a 64 year old lady I work with. She is convinced that Michael Jackson is a Scientologist, too. According to her, he used to be a Jehovah's witness.

don't know about the scientology, but he was raised jehovah's witness. his father still practices the religion.

[anarky]

Last I heard, Louis Farrakahn had convinced him to convert to Islam, which he did because he thought Christians had all turned their backs on him. But then he turned back, possibly because the Jehovah's Witness doctrines were so hammered into his head. It must've really sucked to be a kid and record one of the best Christmas albums ever, going on about presents and such, and not be able to celebrate it at home.

I seriously doubt he actually is a pedophile. His sense of what's appropriate and inappropriate is just Swiss cheese. We know he was buddies with Emmanuel Lewis and Macauley Culkin back in the day, and neither ever said anything about him, aside from the sleepovers. And, well, if you let your kid to a sleepover with a grown man, if something happens, then it's half your own damn fault.

Vyn pretty much nailed it on the head regarding his personal life, methinks. And, after considering this further, a lot of his more recent songs could be good, if the production wasn't a series of chasing the latest trends and not quite getting it. He needs to go back to Quincy Jones or someone else who's really damned good, and just record a great Michael Jackson album, to hell with what the label execs say is hot. Even Rick Rubin--that'd be an interesting pairing, and not too "out there," considering he started in rap back in the 1980s. (Just because Janet has enjoyed more success with her trend-chasing doesn't mean that she's actually any good at it, or that Michael should imitate what she's doing just because they looked alike back when he still looked like a human being.)

[Bizarro The Grin]

i JUST KNOW THAT FEBRUARY 13, 1997, WAS A RED-LETTER DAY FOR ME. i'D BEEN ITCHING TO FEEL mICHAEL'S BUTTCHEEKS SQUEEZING MY BIG BLACK DICK EVER SINCE i FIRST HEARD "pyt (pRETTY yOUNG tHING)" YEARS EARLIER. i'D BEEN HEARING RUMORS HE WAS GAY FOR AGES, AND THOUGHT HE MIGHT NOT EVER FATHER A CHILD. i SORT OF GOT MY HOPES UP DURING THAT WEIRD MARRIAGE TO lISA mARIE pRESLEY, BUT SHE WAS MORE MANLY THAN HIM, SO i FIGURED MAYBE HE WAS GAY AFTER ALL. tHEN pRINCE mICHAEL WAS BORN, AND, OH, THE FUN i HAD WITH mICHAEL jACKSON'S ASSHOLE. i WAS THE LAST MAN TO SEE IT WHILE IT STILL HAD AN OUNCE OF BLACK IN IT, THOUGH THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A DINGLEBERRY. hE'S ONE OF THE BEST FUCKS OUT THERE, BUT i SOMETIMES WISH HE'D CUT OUT THE "hEE-HEE! oW! sHAMON! sHAMON!" BIT WHEN i GO BALLS-DEEP IN HIS ANUS.

[Zaphod]

this bizarro the grin guy scares me. but to answer your question, captain eo happened.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

this bizarro the grin guy scares me. but to answer your question, captain eo happened.

Wait til you find out he's a 115 lb white dude from Rhode Island or Vermont or where the fuck ever who's just acting out. pay him no mind.

Unless you have children.

[anarky]

I thought Captain Eo was a massive success...?

[Ran]

this bizarro the grin guy scares me. but to answer your question, captain eo happened.

Wait til you find out he's a 115 lb white dude from Rhode Island or Vermont or where the fuck ever who's just acting out. pay him no mind.

Unless you have children.

Who is a 115 lb white dude? Michael Jackson or bizarro the grin?

[Zaphod]

I thought Captain Eo was a massive success...?

have you seen captain eo? shit, if i starred in captain eo, i'd be fucking little boys right now. that would really fuck up your mind.

[Rollo Tomassi]

this bizarro the grin guy scares me. but to answer your question, captain eo happened.

Wait til you find out he's a 115 lb white dude from Rhode Island or Vermont or where the fuck ever who's just acting out. pay him no mind.

Unless you have children.

Who is a 115 lb white dude? Michael Jackson or bizarro the grin?

Well, I was referring to BTG. But the answer is both.

[Newsbot]

Code: Select all

The son of an Arab monarch took the King of Pop to court Monday, charging that Michael Jackson took $7 million as an advance on an album and an autobiography that he never produced.

Lawyers for Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa say their client paid Jackson expenses as an advance on the book and joint recording project with the sheikh, who is an amateur songwriter. Jackson claims the money was a gift.

Al Khalifa, 33, was due to testify at London's Royal Courts of Justice on Wednesday. Jackson's lawyer Robert Englehart said he was seeking permission to have Jackson testify by video link from Los Angeles.

A lawyer for Al Khalifa said the royal first spoke to Jackson, 50, by telephone while the singer was on trial in California following his 2003 arrest on child molestation charges. Attorney Bankim Thanki said that Al Khalifa wanted to work with Jackson on rebuilding his career. Jackson's finances fell apart after his arrest and he was desperately short of cash.

Al Khalifa's first payment, for $35,000, went toward paying the utility bills at Neverland, Jackson's 2,500-acre (1,000 hectare) ranch and miniature amusement park in California, Thanki said. When Jackson was found innocent of the molestation charges in June 2005, Al Khalifa footed $2.2 million in legal bills, the lawyer said.

Al Khalifa said he believed the money would be repaid once Jackson's career recovered from the damaging trial.

"I saw the payment as an investment in Michael's potential," the sheikh said in a statement read out by his lawyer in court. "He said he would pay me back ... through our work together."

Al Khalifa moved Jackson and his entourage to Bahrain almost immediately after the trial, setting up a recording studio for him in Manama, the Gulf state's capital. The sheikh, who is the governor of Bahrain's Southern Province, supplied Jackson with $500,000 in cash to subsidize his lifestyle and splashed out on a $350,000 European vacation for Jackson and his associates in February of 2006, Thanki said.

"The costs even included the expenses of bringing out Mr. Jackson's hairdresser," he said.

The lawyer said Jackson and the sheikh became close friends and at one time both lived in a palace in Abu Dhabi owned by Al Khalifa's father, Sheikh Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa, Bahrain's king. The singer stayed nearly a year in Bahrain as a guest of the son, but the relationship soured when Jackson repudiated a business deal Thanki said they had agreed to.

Jackson's lawyers say the pair never entered a valid agreement and that Al Khalifa's money was given freely.

Thanki acknowledged that Al Khalifa gave some gifts to Jackson but said that most of what the singer received was part of a business deal.

The gifts, he said, "were essentially personal effects — watches, jewelry."

Thanki said the sheik was wealthy but that paying Jackson's bills had taken a big bite out of his finances.

"Some of the payments were staggering by any standards," Thanki said, saying the expenditure "should not be regarded as loose change for my client."

As for Jackson, he still appears to be in difficult financial straits.

Last week, he was forced to give up the deed on Neverland, which is named for the mythical land of Peter Pan.

The trial is being held in London because the parties had agreed to take any disputes over their deal to an English court, Al Khalifa's representatives said. The trial is due to wrap up by the end of the month.

Basically he has gone from messing with little boy pee-pees to fucking with a Shiekh.  Bad move, Michael.

[Newsbot]

Michael Jackson has been rushed to the UCLA medical center. According to some reports, he was comatose when he arrived, and paramedics performed CPR. The entire Jackson family is present, and Latoya was seen crying emotionally. Jackson's current state is unknown.

We'll keep you updated as this story develops!

Remember: here at vynsane.com, you hear it first!